More tributes from Kimberly's friends...

Jo Anne - Kimmi's Mom

Dear Kimberly.............

I miss you so dearly. It does not get easier, the loss expands as I realize my dreams with you that will never be.

My heart just aches to touch you, hold you or hear your voice just one more time.

I will continue to pray that we will be together in our next life, whatever that is.

I love you, my precious and beautiful daughter.
Your Mom

Scott W. Pauli

When my sister was born, God had created an earthly angel so sweet, gentle and kind that anyone who came in contact with her was changed for life. Her smile lights up any room she walks in to and everyone is immediately aware of her graceful and glamorous presence for there is only one Kimberly Laine Pauli. She is my sister, my spiritual guide and the champion of my life.
I love you every waking moment sis, you are my one and only.
Your little brother,
Scott W. Pauli

Mark Dodge & Karn Myers

Karn Myers & Mark Dodge

In October of 1994, while visiting our vet at VCA in West LA, we encountered a large wire cage full of bright-eyed, feisty kittens, all of which we learned had just been rescued from the Fox Studio lot. Kimberly Pauli introduced herself as a weekend staffer at VCA and the kitten rescuer, and as we were looking to bring another cat into our home, we took interest in one of them in particular, a Russian Blue that Kimberly had started calling "Bruiser." We adopted the little one, who became our Wolfgang, and thereafter became good friends with Kimberly. How could we not, after such a pleasant experience with such a darling person? Wolfgang remains our treasured companion, and is sitting here between us as I write this. Are you in there, Kimberly?
At the time, Kimberly was working as an executive assistant at the Milken Foundation, and soon thereafter we learned she had taken a position to serve in a similar capacity to the Chairman and CEO of International Creative Management, the famous talent agency. That she took it upon herself to spend evenings and weekends, year after year, while working full-time in such high-pressure, sophisticated environments, speaks volumes about her devotion to animals, and her desire to make the world a better place...

Wolfgang

Some years later, Kimberly met Bill Davies, an LA vet, then working at VCA Robertson. In 1997, through Kimberly's efforts, the two of them started volunteering for Feral Cat Coalition, driving down to San Diego each month to attend clinics and staff the neuter station. In 1998, we (Karn and Mark) started thinking about starting a feral cat spay-neuter program in LA patterned after the high-volume clinic model pioneered by FCC, and as we struggled with how to do it, how to get it funded, and all of the other issues typical of any new all-volunteer venture, Kimberly continually offered her support, insight and encouragement. This was a difficult undertaking as Mark was (and remains) busy full-time with his corporate law practice and general counsel work, and Karn similarly consumed with work as an executive assistant in the special effects industry. Through Kimberly, we secured an invitation to attend an FCC clinic as part of our investigation, which was one the major turning points in developing our plan for Catnippers.
Once we launched Best Friends Catnippers in 1999, Kimberly became a loyal, dedicated volunteer, and missed only a few clinics during the 5 years now that we have been doing them. During this period, we enjoyed many evenings out with Kimberly and Bill, among the most memorable at Kimberly's favorite place, Taverna Tony, a Greek restaurant in Malibu.
Having been close to Kimberly for over 10 years, she will always be remembered as a true sweetheart with only the best of intentions, whose passing is felt deeply. We honor her life and contributions, and will never forget what she meant to us.
Mark and Karn

Mary Lou Woodward RVT

I worked with kimberly at petville. I was one of her bottlefeeders also. she was a fantastic person and dearly loved all the furbabies. When doctor davies and i were busy or had emergencies where we could not take lunch she would bring us donuts and coffee or taco bell or some other lunch food. I still give out the bottlefeeding handout that she and i wrote together to give to other bottlefeeders also. It is still the best one out there. I still have her name on top of it and i still have her business card. it was such a shock to me when i heard the news. angie and i sent flowers to the funeral in a cat vase. i hope that she is in a happy place with all of the animals now. even though we will always grieve her death i hope that she is at peace. we will always remember and miss you kimberly.
Mary Lou Woodward RVT

Mischa Kopitman

Kimberly, her mother, Jo Anne, and I met by the fountain at the Music Center. The time—1988. By pure accident (or fate) I wondered into a wrong section and sat right in front of Kimberly and Jo Anne. I think L.A. Phil was playing a Beethoven symphony. Could have been the 8th. We talked during the intermission and became close friends and more. We called each other ‘MK’ and ‘KP.’
Kimberly was not a strong person, but she could be strong for others. I was going through some emotional times and Kimberly was there for me. Always. She was most thoughtful person and humane being I have known. Do I feel a little guilty? Yes. But then again who doesn’t.
She yearned for simplicity and normalcy in a complex and unstable world. She yearned for a considerate and giving man beside her. That, and-- in her words--- “ a white-picket fence.” A nest.
Was that too much to ask? Kimberly had a lot to give, and wanted so little in return-- a little love and a little warmth. Maybe it was just not meant to be. Maybe it was meant to be in some other time, some other place. Who knows…
When the moonlight, reaching a tree by the gate,
Shows her a quiet bird on its nest,
She removes her jade hairpins and sits in the shadow
And puts out a flame where a moth was flying.
- A Zhang Hu
I HELD a jewel in my fingers
And went to sleep.
The day was warm, and winds were prosy
I said: “’T will keep.”
I woke and chid my honest fingers,—
The gem was gone;
And now an amethyst remembrance
Is all I own.
- Emily Dickenson
Mischa Kopitman

Paul & Emma Almond

I have very warm memories of Kimberly over the years, she worked for me as my assistant at New World, and I so liked her and respected her integrity and abilities that I asked her to continue to handle all my bookkeeping, which she did for the rest of her life. She was a friend, and she actually got me to adopt a cat, something I thought would never happen (she also once got me to contribute to PETA, but even Kimberly could occasionally make a mistake)! My wife and I will always miss her.
Paul & Emma Almond


Sheri L. Jensen

To Kimberly's dearest Mom, JoAnne,
My heart still breaks to think of your pain to loose such a lovely young daughter. I think of you, and her, so many times and the joy you brought into my life and the lives of many, I know. She touched my heart with her smile and loving ways and I am thankful that you both have been in my life. I miss you both…
With love,
Sheri


Nancy Martin & William Wilmot

Kimberly's grace....Kimberly's caring....Kimberly's energy....Kimberly's devotion....Kimberly's gentleness....and Kimberly's smile. Kimberly gave of herself to all, and all whom she touched will never forget Kimberly's compassion, and Kimberly's bright face. Thank you, Kimberly, for doing so much for so many.

Nancy & William, Catnippers Volunteers.

Deborah Collins

Dear Mrs. Pauli,
Your daughter changed my life through one of her rescue kittens almost eight years ago, and I had intended to call her soon because I am writing a book about him. When I looked for Kimberly online today, I read about what had happened and I wanted to share my sadness with you. Although I met her only a few times, I could tell that she was a lovely person.
Bless her heart--and yours.
Deborah Collins

Kimberly & Marshall

Gary & Deborah Collins

Marshall Celebrating His 8th Birthday
August 2005

Marshall in the Garden


Susan Hayden

Susan Hayden

I'm in my dad's black Cadillac, circa 1970. I'm waiting to be dropped off in front of Hesby Street Elementary in Encino. It's the first day back at school after Christmas break, and the last thing I want is to get out of the car. I'm seven and the loneliness is unbearable. There are girls everywhere, some I am even friends with, but none of them get me. I say a secret prayer under my breath: "Are You There God? It's me, Susan. Please send me someone original, whom I can trust."

That's when I see this vision, a bright angel, a human epiphany. She's getting out of her mom's wood-paneled Country Squire station wagon, wearing Young Edwardian, summer eyelet in the rain. She's got see-through eyes, alabaster skin and movie star blonde hair. She must be the only non-Jew in Encino. But she's on crutches, hobbling, and the other kids are whispering that she'd just broken her leg after her daredevil dad had taken her up to a black diamond run in Mammoth called Climax, and made her ski down by herself.
" Who is she?" I ask a fellow 2nd Grader.

" Oh, that's Kimmi Pauli--she's the most beautiful girl in the school."

This was evident. But she also seemed like the shyest. She possessed a kind of depth, a knowingness, that separated her from the common kids who all dressed and acted exactly the same. She spoke to no one. She could barely make contact. Yet she turned to me then and smiled, and I thought, we could be friends if I made the first move. But I too was shy, in a really loud, fat girl, reverse kind of way.

And so I held back, waited two years, and then, at age nine, we ended up in the same 4th grade class and instantly bonded. I felt like Harold when he met Maude. I was sure I could teach her the secret to dreaming, and she could share her beauty secrets with me. It would be an equal opportunity friendship. We even started our own magazine, a cross between two of my dad's favorites: Sports Illustrated and Playboy. It was called Sex Illustrated and was immediately confiscated by our teacher, Mrs. Robbins.

It would be the first of a gazillion escapades she and I would embark on as inseparable opposites, Mutt and Geoff type rebels with a cause. I was overweight and Jewish; she was petite and blonde. It made it so much more interesting. We didn't look alike, but felt the same under our surface skin. It was an incendiary mix, fraught with drama, antics, big plans, rules to live by, and most importantly, laughter. Always, laughter above all else.
We split a fourteen carat gold Mitzvah charm necklace, in the shape of a lopsided heart. We didn't know that in Hebrew, Mitzvah meant blessing. That's how we both felt, blessed, because there was nothing like belonging. I also gave her a Jewish star to wear around her neck, and she gave me an abalone cross from the Whole Earth Marketplace in Tarzana. Exchanging religions was the least we could do. We had to hide our respective jewelry from our parents or we knew we'd be separated.

When I had the rare privilege of accompanying her to ice-skating practice, I'd carry this cross in my pocket as a talisman, and watch, as she spun in circles in an exercise called Patch. She was training to be in the Olympics, in the company of such talents as Linda Frattiani. She was the epitome of grace, the star of the rink, the Brigitte Bardot of the Valley on skates, twirling, like she belonged in the Ice Capades, at age ten.

Our goal was to expose everything and everybody for who and what they were, but not in a mean way. She'd be the mastermind and I'd be the spokesperson. And sometimes, I'd be the mastermind and the spokesperson. I was determined to clarify the world for her, tear open the truth of every trauma that presented itself. She'd egg me on and then duck behind the curtain. I wanted to save her from a certain existential loneliness she too struggled with. I wanted to show her a new way of looking at something old. She had things to show me too, and it was her breathlessness, her open heart and her willingness to connect that drew me to her.

Kimmi Pauli also had the most wicked sense of humor I'd ever known--together we'd do things like freeze her Grandma Liz's bra, write notes on toilet paper with this same Grandma's red lipstick, send pizza anonymously to unsuspecting neighbors, make prank phone calls, streak at a public pool, drive by guys houses in the middle of the night to spy, take our fingers and peel all of the icing off of a Texas sheet cake, homemade by Jo Anne or Grandma Ethel for someone's birthday. And always, Jo Anne would ask the same question, tears in her eyes, arms crossed: "Couldn't you have at least waited until the candles were blown out?!?"

Whatever we did, one thing was certain: We always, always got caught. Which was half the fun, anyway.
We were part of a two piece set, Sue and Kim. Her parents were my second parents, mine were hers. Her friendship was the lava lamp that would lead me through an otherwise bourgeouis basement. There was a time, from the age of nine to about twenty one, that we were stray dogs that traveled side by side. We were lost, but no longer alone. Back then, we were each other's home.
Now, I shall hold her in a new place, the other side of my heart.
Susan Hayden

Staci Howard

I met Kimberly Pauli in 1989. She had been working for the company where I got a job and we became fast friends and our friendship continued for the next 16 years. She was always very helpful and loving and seemed to be happy, but I always sensed an underlying pain within her that she could never resolve.
We shared innumerable experiences together throughout our friendship, including a love of animals. I had always had animals and knowing her sense of loneliness, I encouraged her to get a cat… And the obsession began!!! Once she got one cat… she got another… and another… and several more. Never saying “no” to a rescue. Everyone at the office became very familiar with all aspects of her furry children and she seemed to have found her purpose in life. What a generous soul to the animal kingdom Kimberly Pauli was. Whenever I had an animal in need, I would call Kimberly immediately because she always had the solution. She would leave the office several days a week to go straight to a veterinary office where she devoted so much of her time her energy and her heart. What an exemplary difference she made in the world! I admired her so much for the service she provided to the animal kingdom.
KIMBERLY PAULI WAS THE BEST EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT I HAVE EVER MET AND WILL EVER MEET. She prided herself on knowing how to run an office with sheer perfection and ease. She never needed to be trained, she never needed to be managed… she was loyal, responsible, dependable, dedicated, and a perfectionist in every way. There are not enough positive words to describe this woman’s work ethic and abilities. I admired her and looked to her for help constantly throughout our 16 years, as she was the consummate professional.
We spoke all the time… we emailed all the time… we were very good friends. Throughout those 16 years, I knew about Kimberly’s pain. She had a lot of pain and loneliness and I tried to be there for her. That’s all I could do sometimes was listen, encourage her to get help, and tell her I loved her and that this too shall pass. But it never did…
On Tuesday, September 21st, I received a call from a mutual friend of ours’. She told me she had some news about our friend… and it was literally the worst news I could have ever, ever, ever, ever heard. I have never had anyone this close to me die before and I completely lost it. I was in such pain for her beautiful soul, which had suffered so much in this lifetime. I was in such pain for her incredible Mother who, more than anyone on this planet, had been the sustenance and unwavering support system in Kimberly’s life.
I often contemplate what the circumstances would have been had she gotten the proper help and been able to continue working, which was so critical in her life. Would this tremendous friend, daughter, sister and animal-lover still be here?
I still can’t believe my friend is gone. No more lunches, calls or emails… No more deeply spiritual conversations about where we come from and where we go from here... No more commiserating about animals like pigs, which we both adore… And no more Christmas cards for my furry children, which she sent every year without fail. We have lost a great soul here and she is and will continue to be missed by so many. I was lucky to have known her and to have shared part of life with her, as I have never met anyone like this beautiful creature and I never will. I trust that with Kimberly’s decision to end her life, she is now at peace with her world. And this is the only thing that makes me feel any sense of relief.
She had no idea how many lives she helped here, but I have faith that she knows now.
Staci Howard

Diane O'Brien

Dulcie

This is Dulcie -- She was rescued as an orphan by Kim before she had her eyes open. Kimmi hand-raised her and she and her Mom, Jo Anne, (my cousin) delivered her to me when she was 8 weeks old. Her heredity was unknown, but as she grew, it became obvious that Dulcie was a Turkish Angora, pure white, with one blue eye and one gold. She is beautiful, spoiled, and much loved.
Kimmi found homes for so many of her beloved cats and for her they were always gifts of love. If there is a little angel up there who is praying for a kitten, and she's lucky enough to meet Kim, I'm sure her prayers will be answered.
Diane O'Brien

Dr. Yuko Nishiyama

When I met Kimberly for the first time, we had just "business" relationship. I was the veterinarian working at Petville Animal Hospital in West LA, and she was the cat rescue person who brings in kittens and cats for check up and the treatment. She was very sweet, cheerful and responsible woman. Very soon, I started realizing that Kimberly was a little different from other rescue person.
Her kitten rescue size was small, but her job was so thorough, and well organized. She never forget the vaccine date. deworming date, or most importantly, the spay neuter follow ups. After placing her kittens to a permanent home, she always, always follow up make sure the kittens was happy, and make sure the are spay/neutered.
I was amazed how well organized and how intelligent she was. After the several months, Kimberly and I became more and more mentally close, and we also worked together at Catnipper Feral Cat clinic on volunteer base. We talked about life, work, and family and the "Men"! I realized Kimberly and I had a lot of common feelings towards life in general.
I still see some healthy cat that Kimberly rescued and placed home in exam room. Each of these cat is happy and beautiful. Those are the cats that Kimberly left to us in the world. I loved you, Kimberly, and I miss you so much.
Dr. Yuko Nishiyama
Petville Animal Hospital

David Alley

Kimberly and I would smile and laugh every time we
saw each other. We both would just light up. We would talk for hours about cats, relationships, and life. She was a mentor, a friend, a boss, and
yes the mother of my two cats- bob cat and boo boo kitty.
I don't think I was even in the market to adopt a pet, but when I first met Kimberly I was overwhelmed by her compassion and love. She had such a warm spirit she made me feel like family. She was like, here is your little kitty sister and your kitty brother, and off you go. We kept in touch for years before she gave me another gift...ICM. More of a life lesson than
a gift.
I wanted to change careers, and thought it would be interesting to be an agent trainee. Kimberly helped me get into the very distinguished agency program, where you start in the mailroom for no pay. Kimberly felt bad for me, so she made me her official mailroom
assistant. I carried a Kimberly phone, and did odd jobs like go to the store and get bottles of bob's big boy salad dressing for her big boss. Kimberly showed me around and I rose through the ranks and ended up on the desk of the president. Kimberly and I became
good friends during that period and I felt better just knowing she was there.
I have Kimberly to thank for some of the greatest lessons of my life, and will miss her dearly.
Lots of love,
David Alley

Nadia Sutton

My lovely Lady Kimmi
I miss you lovely Lady in so many ways.
I miss the way your smile lit up the place when you were at Catnippers, your smile came from your heart
I miss how you touched cats and kittens so tenderly, you knew each one felt your overflowing love.
I loved the way you would kiss the kittens on their heads holding them to your heart and the way they looked into your eyes with such trust. I could see your soul smile
Lady I thank you for our conversations and for doing me the honor of sharing your beautiful yet fragile self with me.
I also thank you for all the giggling we did the phone telling each other cat stories.
I told you then and still say to you. "KIMMY I WISH YOU REALISED IF ONLY A LITTLE WHAT AN EXQUISITE PRECIOUS GIFT YOU ARE" We all saw it
I am sure that you are in a beautiful place surrounded by many cats and kittens purring, playing with you, climbing all over you feeling fabulous and laughing a lot.
Miss you Kimmi
Much love Nadia and MacDuff the cat

Bob Lifson

Dear Kim-
In my religion at a persons death the body goes down to the earth and the soul goes up to Heaven to God who formed it.I personally know what it feels like to suffer from a terrible disease or illness.I know it can be unbearable.I know you are in good hands.
Love-Bob Lifson


Alisa Chompuong

I am a fellow animal lover and met Kimberly a few years ago. Although I never knew her very well, I have always held her in high regard for her selfless work she did rescuing kittens. I was looking for her number online and was shocked to come across her memorial and just had to write you to tell you that I too am heartbroken that such a beautiful soul has moved on.

Please accept my sincerest condolences for your, and the world's, loss. You should be so proud for raising such a loving woman who gave more than her fair share when life wasn't always so fair to her.

Sincerely,
Alisa Chompuong

Uncle Larry

My Dearest Kim:

The one person that loves animals every bit as much as me........is you. I never see a cat that I don't think of my wonderful niece who saved so many kittens lives. I bragged about your work to so many.

I miss you so.

Love you

Your Uncle Larry

Aunt Susie

When I first set eyes on Kimmi not long after she was born there was such a connection from this beautiful little baby. Jo Anne and I spent so much time together with our children and here was Kimmi with Neal, Jason and Scott and later Josh.

It was not always easy being the only girl but we treasured her presence. From the birthdays shared by Kimmi and Neal with both of them screaming in their highchairs while we were singing Happy Birthday to such fun vacations: Vacation Village in San Diego, cabins in the mountains and best of all the beach house on Balboa Island .... so many laughs, joys and just wonderful times. Watching Kim skate in the beautiful outfits her Grandma Ethel made for her ... she floated on the ice and looked so beautiful.

As the kids got older we didn't see as much of each other but had a wonderful trip to Maui with everyone. Even if I hadn't seen Kim in a while every time we got together it was just as if I had seen her the day before. The wonderful warm smile ... I often feel bad that I just didn't know she had a care in the world because she was always so loving and happy around me.

When I told her David and I were going to Maui to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary she said just tell me when and where. I will always treasure that time with her. It was so special having her there ... she looked beautiful, was so funny and we all just loved having her be a part of our celebration. I am so thankful she joined us.

I remember my last conversation with her was on my birthday, September 6, 2005 and she called to say she couldn't make it to my party and for the very first time she really didn't sound like herself. I know we all feel a deep loss for such a beautiful person and wish we could have done something. I find myself only remembering the wonderful times and the great joy she brought to my life and she will always be my very favorite niece. She was and will always be a truly special person. It still hard to believe she has truly left us because her spirit will live in our hearts forever.

Much love always, Aunt Susie

Mike Beatty

In Tribute and Memory to Kimmi.

Love, Mike Beatty

Tributes from familiy submitted - 2006

Written - 19 September 2005

A Letter to My Lovely Daughter Kimberly:

I WONDER

It has been one year today since that appearing tragic event or your ending your life.
I wonder if you know how we have all suffered so very much.
I wonder when you made your decision.
I wonder what was the final catalyst.
I wonder how you could leave your cats.
I wonder if you know how many people loved and revered you.
I wonder if you know the happiness you brought to thousands with your work with kittens.
I wonder if you know how very much I miss you.
I wonder if you know how I miss being able to call you.
I wonder if you know how much I loved you.
I wonder if you know the kind of pain that we all feel without you.
I wonder if you know how I loved our travels together.
I wonder if you know how I loved our dinners together.
I wonder if you know how I loved shopping with you.
I wonder if you know how I loved cleaning your apartment for you.
I wonder if you know how I loved helping you move.
I wonder where you are.
I wonder if you know the soul searching we all have done.
I wonder if you know the magnitude of pain we have felt.
I wonder if you are out of pain.
I wonder if you are happy now.
I wonder if you are with your Dad and grandparents.
I wonder if you have new friends.
I wonder if you still rescue kittens.
I wonder if I will see you again.
All I know is that I wish you all good things and I want so much to hold you, to love you.
And if I could know this, it would take away some of my pain, but never all of it...not being able to have life on this planet with you.

I love you dear daughter.
I love you so much.

Your Mom


This message was written by Scott to Cindy Pollack, writer and editor from the Seattle area.
Ms. Pollack is gathering information for her upcoming book on suicide. She aslo lost her sister to suicide.
Her e-mail address is cyndylp@centurytel.net

Hello my name is Scott,
On September 19th, 2004 my mother called me while I was happily working outside in the sun only to hear an un-mistakable sound in her voice, before she spoke a second word I knew what was coming as she had been informed moments earlier from the L.A. County Sheriff that her daughter, my only sister had jumped 17 floors to her death in a calculated suicide from a Marina Del Rey, CA apartment tower.

My sister “Kimberly Laine Pauli” suffered severe depression and some form of personality disorder since a teenager. She died at 42 years old and was a very successful executive assistant to the top producers in the entertainment industry for 15 years. My life has changed dramatically from that moment on as I re-live the moment several times a day and live with the fact that my mother suffers in pain each passing minute. I held her blood soaked shirt, Capri pants and Rolling Stones visor in my hands and pressed it against my face after the funeral home had given be a brown paper bag with her belongings in it riddled in the color red. I was unable to determine what the original color of her clothing was as her life fluid dominated every fiber and stitch of cloth. Time stood still as I endured the impact of the most horrible pain imaginable; my own flesh and blood in my lap.

My one and only sibling is gone and somehow I will have to hold up my mother and remain strong for her. My sister had never married nor had children of her own and sadly 30 days prior to her death, my wife and I informed the family that the families first baby is on way. I am very sad that I did not get the opportunity to hand my sister her baby niece who was named after her “Sydney Laine Pauli”
Please take a look at the web site we built in her memory.
www.rememberingkimberly.com

More tributes from Kimberly's friends...